It's time to mend the divide between my brain and my mind, because I know so many things in my brain that my mind can't seem to divine. My brain knows I don't have the spare seconds to lend to the idle task, but somehow my mind can't master that concept, and wallows in it's fears and self doubts. Not that I should be removing the self from these ideas, but I can't make sense of these diverging ideals. My superego can't seem to weild any authority and it's poor of me to expect that I can just wait it out or gain anything more than self doubt by my evasions and the abrasions on my arms show karma to be alarmingly true. But that doesn't mean that it's my due to be a failure, and it's not like reading braile here, I can see the signs before my eyes and I recognize the lies that circulate in my mind like blood keeping my self doubt alive, but it's hard to derive the source of the knives in my back. Meaning, when did I become a self saboteur and why was I so easily lured into this half conscious life style?
Fuck this. I'm hungry, I'll think about it later.
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